Reclaiming my joy
As many of you may know, I’ve been struggling the last few months with a currently underdiagnosed list of neurological problems, that mean I am unable to work a normal full time job, and struggling with certain aspects of life like walking unassisted. (I am now adjusting to life as a part time cane user) The past few months has been turbulent, starting mostly with my pineal cyst diagnosis at the end of May. Since then I have had several aspects of my health and ability to function decline.
Despite all of these added stressors on my life, I continue to choose joy MOST days. I am continually finding joy in my new routines, as a part-time employee with ample free time to expand my business (We have hit $1000 in gross sales! What a huge milestone that I am SO proud of. I couldn’t do it without each and every single one of your support.)
My life is vastly different than it was even four months ago. I never thought that I would own my own business, or that it would be any semblance of successful, or that I would be able to stay home three days a week and rest my body and mind and focus on myself. I never thought that would even be necessary.
Yes, it is hard when I cannot walk without pain. It is soul crushing when I cannot hold a pencil or a toothbrush. But when I see a customer’s face fill with joy when they see their cake for the first time, and I see my bank account just as full as it used to be when I was working 50 hour weeks- FOR SOMEONE ELSE- and now I’m working just 25-30, for a company that feels so much closer to my own heart and soul, and filling other people’s lives with joy in the off time.
I Have had the honor of catering queer weddings, seeing absolute perfect days made even more so with my skills. I have been blown away by the generosity & interest of people from all over the country for my products, and all of that makes me happier than I ever thought I could be.
My joy looks different that I thought it would be, but it’s mine, and I’m taking it back. It’s mine, and no one can take that from me, disabled or not.